We want to bring you in the trenches and give you an insider view of a negotiation. This event really happened. We take you step-by-step through our thinking and process and cover:

• The trigger that opens wallets

• Two dangerous emotions and how to stop them

• The one thing you must do before you start talking

• The hardest thing to say in a negotiation

THE OPPORTUNITY

A new, two-story, mega-fitness center was being built near my house. Each time I drove by, the building was bigger, and I felt like the workouts in my basement needed an upgrade. I wondered how much this would cost, so I went to the website and joined the wait list to get pricing.

A few weeks later, the gym emailed me and said they had early-bird pricing. To get this special price, I had to book an appointment at the gym by Friday at 8:00 p.m.
(Note: This is a psychological trigger called “scarcity.” You see this all the time – and it works.)

It was Saturday morning, and I realized that I missed the deadline. It wasn’t for lack of trying. I’d emailed back and forth a few times but couldn’t agree on a time. They sent me the last email on Friday morning, and I didn’t spot it until Saturday.

SCARCITY + FOMO = NEEDINESS

While kicking myself for not reading that email on Friday, my emotions also kicked in. I pictured myself in this new, odor-free gym, pumping more iron than people 20 years younger. I also saw myself drinking a green smoothie that came from the fountain of youth.

I had FOMO – fear of missing out. I wanted that early-bird pricing and was going to call them. At this point, I wasn’t ready to pick up the phone. If I did, chances are things wouldn’t go in my favor.

In this needy state of mind, these were my thoughts:

#1 – I can tell the gym that it’s my fault for missing the deadline. Then I can apologize and beg for the early-bird pricing.

#2 – I can say that I did try to email for an appointment, and it’s a bit inefficient to go back and forth. This deadline came up suddenly. I would hope that they felt guilty enough to give me a reduced price.

Which of these did I choose? Neither. I’m a Camp Negotiator.

Instead, I implemented part of the Camp System to live in the other party’s world, not be needy, and offer the right to say no.

THE CHECKLIST

I needed a plan and focused my preparation on these points. Here is my checklist:

MISSION AND PURPOSE

To provide the gym owners the opportunity to add a family of new members before the gym opens.

PROBLEM

The problem of the fitness center is that they need new members.
My problem is that I can no longer get access to the gym at the early-bird price.

WHAT DO I WANT?

I want them to make a decision to invite me to visit the gym and potentially become a new member at the early-bird price.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?

If they give me an offer of early-bird pricing, I’ll go to the appointment.
If they don’t, I’ll work out in my basement.

THE NEGOTIATION IN PRACTICE

I put my emotions aside, had my checklist in hand, and made the call. Follow along with this summary of the conversation:

Guy: Hi, Super Fun Duper Fitness. This is Guy. How can I help you?

Me: Hi Guy! I received an email about the opening of your new gym. I’m calling to make an appointment for a tour.
(NOTE: Use their name and don’t start with your assumed problems.)

Guy: Sure, I can do that for you. We have an opening on the 21st at noon.

Me: That time works for me. I’m looking forward to it. The email mentioned the early-bird pricing. Is that available to me if I come on the tour on the 21st?
(NOTE: I didn’t assume that the reduced pricing was over. I want to confirm this.)

Guy: No, we had a deadline for that. The appointment had to be booked by 8 p.m. yesterday for that pricing.
(NOTE: Guy said no. That means the negotiation begins. He sounded confident and authoritative.)

Me: How much more is the price now without the early-bird?
(NOTE: Get the facts. Avoid being defensive or offensive at this point.)

Guy: The price is $20 more per month, per person.

(NOTE: I let there be silence for 10 seconds, then I spoke very calmly.)

Me: So the early-bird pricing is not available to my family?
(NOTE: Double-check the no.)

Guy: We had a firm cut off last night, and I can’t give you that price. I’m sorry.

(NOTE: More silence for 15 seconds.)

Me: What do you think I should do?

Guy: I’m sorry. You can’t do anything. The price was hard on that deadline.

Me: What would you do if you were me?

Guy: This is hard. I’ve been saying no most of the time.
(NOTE: “Most of the time” means he didn’t say no to everyone.)

Me: (Calm voice, with empathy.) Yes, I know, you have a tough job. I understand that you have a deadline. I was emailing about an appointment last week, but it didn’t work out.

(NOTE: Silence again.)

Guy: Oh, you were in a conversation with us? Wait, let me check your record. (He leaves for a minute.)

Guy (returns): Because you were in a conversation with us before the deadline, I can give you the early-bird price.

Me: Thank you, that’s very nice of you. I appreciate it. I’ll be there on the 21st.

Guy: You’re welcome. Ok, I’ll send you a confirming email with directions.

Me: Great. So I’ll get an email confirming the date and early-bird pricing?
(NOTE: This is the second confirmation.)

Guy: Yes, I’ll send it now. Thank you for calling, and we’ll see you soon!

(NOTE: Typically confirm three times.)

SUMMARY

• Distinguish wants from needs.

• Beware of FOMO and neediness.

• Lose emotional reactions.

• Don’t challenge deadlines; don’t look needy.

• Make a checklist before negotiating.

• Honey > vinegar — be nice.

• Ask questions they cannot answer with yes/no.

• Silence is powerful.

• Confirm everything three times.

• Patience saves money — in this case $480/year.

ADVANCED TACTICS

• After the first no, we didn’t ask “Are you the decision maker?”

• Instead: “What do you think I should do?”

• Engage them in the solution.

• Let them think.

ALTERNATE SCENARIO

If I hadn't contacted them before the deadline:

Ask: “Is there anyone else you granted early-bird pricing to who didn’t meet the deadline?”

If yes → “Why did that happen?” → Try to get included.

If no → “Is there anyone else who could make an exception?” → Ask for meeting with that decision maker including Guy.

IS IT OVER?

No. The next person at the appointment might not know.
Have notes and the confirmation email ready.

AM I EXCITED ABOUT THIS?

No.
No expectations.
Only next step: Go to the meeting.